This is a sketch I wrote for a show at the Upright Citizens’ Brigade Theatre called “Sketchcram.” I pitched it at 11am and twelve hours later it was being performed. Below is the script - if the actors fluff a line or come in a little early, it’s all part of the fun. It was a great time, the cast and directors were excellent, and I think that everybody nailed it.
Sketch: "Are We Having Fun Yet?"
Lights up on:
An office. IMELDA sits behind a desk, interviewing ROGER. She reads his resume.
IMELDA
Roger, I’m impressed by your resume. Very impressed. Deloitte right out of college, then three years at Berkshire Hathaway.
ROGER
Thanks. The job market for accountant work is competitive, and with my first child on the way I’m grateful just for the opportunity.
IMELDA
(reading his resume)
But… I don’t see any improv training?
ROGER
Improv?
IMELDA
We’re replacing Kevin. He worked in accounts receivable but more importantly, he was the office funny guy.
ROGER
You’re hiring someone to replace the office funny guy?
IMELDA
He was the best. One time, everyone was just quietly working, and Kevin out of the blue said, “Are we having fun yet?”
(laughs really hard)
“Are we having fun yet?” Classic Kevin.
ROGER
Is this — am I being pranked?
IMELDA
Oh no. I’m no Kevin. You know, he once opened a meeting pretending he didn’t know if it was Monday or Friday.
(laughs)
It was Friday. We’re still talking about that.
AMANDA enters the office, all Alpha energy.
IMELDA
Amanda, this is Roger, our candidate to replace Kevin.
Roger rises to shake her hand.
ROGER
Hi, I’m Roger Anderson.
AMANDA
Nice to meet you. I’m the manager in charge of accounts receivable.
(picks up Roger’s resume)
Where did you go to school?
ROGER
I graduated cum laude from Harvard Business School.
Amanda’s face goes blank.
IMELDA
He didn’t study improv.
AMANDA
Ah, self-taught. Very impressive.
(sits on the desk)
You see, Roger, if you get the job I don’t want you to think of me as your boss, I want you to think of me as your comedy partner.
ROGER
I’m an accountant—
AMANDA (interrupting)
One time I accidentally spilled coffee all over Kevin’s shirt. He said “Just put that on my tab.”
Amanda and Imelda laugh way too hard.
ROGER
Where’s Kevin now?
IMELDA
He got a deal with Netflix.
AMANDA
Production accounting for a new show, the lucky bastard.
ROGER
I really need this job. But I’m not a funny guy.
AMANDA (to Imelda)
I don’t get this. Is he doing a character?
IMELDA
I think it’s a warmup exercise.
AMANDA
Before you show us your act, do you mind if we bring in some of your future coworkers?
Without waiting for an answer, Amanda opens the office door. A LARGE GROUP of office workers enter.
ROGER
I’m really not comfortable.
IMELDA
Ladies and gentlemen, there’s a new Kevin in town, and his name is Roger Anderson! Go on, Roger!
The employees give a round of applause.
ROGER
I’m not—I really can’t—
(trying)
Are we having fun in here...yer?
Silence. Someone coughs. Desperate, Roger picks up a coffee cup from Imelda’s desk and pours it down his shirt.
ROGER
Just put that on my tab.
Angry silence.
EMPLOYEE
Boo.
AMANDA
Stealing jokes is not what we do at this company.
Roger runs out crying.
AMANDA
Sorry folks, we thought he was a professional. But please stick around—we have a great lineup of candidates for you tonight.
MIKEY pokes his head in.
MIKEY
Excuse me, I’m Mikey McPherson.
IMELDA
Come in. Guys, this is Mikey McPherson. He’s here for the accounting job.
The coworkers applaud. MIKEY enters, big comedian energy, really owning the room.
MIKEY
Accounting? What’s accounting? I don’t even know what that means.
Audience laughing, applauding.
MIKEY
I mean, are we having fun yet?
AMANDA
You’re hired!
MIKEY
But seriously, what’s accounting?
BLACKOUT.
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