Headlines for Holiday Articles I Will Scroll Past

Why Gen Z is Dumping Eggnog for Puréed Turkey

“Instead of Exchanging Presents, Let’s Buy Goats for Farmers in Afghanistan” and 30 Other Things to Say to Ensure Your Children Remember You Decades From Now During Their Therapy Sessions

Does Santa Fuck?

“Hannukah is Boring Jewish Christmas” and Other Vaguely Antisemitic Sentiments You Can Now Blame on Israel

20 Life Lessons I Learned from Attending Christmas Dinner in an Adderall Blackout

Traditional Carols for Solstice in a Wiccan Polycule

How Boomers, Gen X, Gen Z, and Gen Alpha Ruined Christmas for Millennials

10 Times Charlie Brown Made Seasonal Depression Merry and Uplifting

“Happy Life Day!” - Our Staff Writer is Decades Late to Goofing on The Star Wars Holiday Special

Following Spotify’s Top New Artist on Christmas Eve as They Deliver for Uber Eats

50 Amazing Facts About A Muppet Christmas Carol that ChatGPT Was Able to Scrape from the Movie’s Wikipedia Page

Christmas on OnlyFans

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