Hold It Right There, Sean Murphy
A sketch.
INT. APARTMENT COMPLEX HALLWAY - EVENING
SEAN, a man in his early thirties, dressed for a fun night out. He’s walking, slightly tipsy, with FRANCINE, his girlfriend, also in her early thirties, also dressed for a fun night out, also slightly tipsy. They’re laughing at a joke that someone has just told.
They reach an apartment door.
SEAN: This has been the best birthday in a long time. Exactly what I needed after the past few months.
FRANCINE: I’m just glad I could help you forget your wife ...
SEAN (uncomfortable): Uh, yeah.
FRANCINE: Oh. Oh geez, I’m so sorry.
SEAN: No, it’s all right.
FRANCINE: Oh God, I shouldn’t have brought it up. I know it’s been hard on you.
SEAN: No no, let’s just get your purse and go to dinner.
He opens the apartment door.
CUT TO:
INT. APARTMENT - CONTINUED
Inside it’s dark. We see SEAN and FRANCINE silhouetted against the light of the hallway behind them.
MAN’S VOICE: Hold it right there, Sean Murphy.
SEAN: Okay, you caught me. I killed her.
FRANCINE: Sean?
SEAN: No, honey, it’s over. They finally caught me. (to the MAN) Yeah, I killed her. And you know what? I’m glad I killed her. I couldn’t take it any more. All the nagging, “Sean take out the garbage,” “Sean, stop raising chickens in the bathtub.” Until one day I just - snapped. I killed her and I dumped her in the river and you can do what you want because I don’t care any more.
A light switch is turned on. Inside, the apartment is filled with all of Sean’s friends, half-crouched in hiding places, with stunned looks on their faces. Many are wearing party hats. There are streamers and balloons all over the place. A big banner reads: “SURPRISE!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!”
In the forefront is the MAN, who is Sean’s best friend. His mouth is wide open in shock.
SEAN: Um, just .... kidding?
His friends start to file out past him in awkward silence.
THE END