Sitemap - 2026 - Write, Liam!
Some Standup I Wrote in High School
HONEST TAG LINES FOR TOYOTA ADS
BATHROOM CEILING’S FALLING DOWN (MY FAIR LADY)
Five Incredibly Frightening Theories About What Might Lie Beyond Our Universe
"Hi! It's Me! The Mediocre White Man You Wish You Had the Confidence of!"
STEPHEN KING’S FIVE WORST WORKS
How the Liar Got His Background Check
Constitutional Rights Americans Believe They Have
Donald Trump as the Mayor from Jaws
EXCERPTS FROM THE 2026 U.S. NATURALIZATION TEST
Richard Linklater's 'Slacker': A Second Viewing
Jeff Johnson’s Tales of the Surprising
HANDMADE FATHER’S DAY COUPONS I WISH I’D GIVEN MY DAD
The Philosophy of Modern Standup Lesson 9
Complaint Letters to People, Places, and Things That I Composed at 4 A.M.
The Philosophy of Modern Standup Lesson 8:
The Last of the Real Queens Eccentrics
PODCASTS I TURNED OFF AFTER HALF AN EPISODE
Excerpts from My Anxiety Dream Journal
Tim Robbins, the Birthday Party, and Me
The Philosophy of Modern Standup: Lesson 7
Texts From My Landlord That Have Me A Bit Concerned
I'm With A Cult and We're Recruiting at Your College's Career Fair
The Philosophy of Modern Standup: Lesson 6
While I'm Away This Week, Watch a Movie!
My USC Commencement Speech (That Didn’t Get Picked)
The Philosophy of Modern Standup: Lesson 5
Signs That I Am No Longer the Target Demographic for Anything
The Philosophy of Modern Standup Lesson 4
After 30 Years of Standup: The Wall of Punchlines
Positive Affirmations for Problematic Airline Passengers
The Philosophy of Modern Standup: Lesson 3
The Philosophy of Modern Standup: Lesson 2
“I Don’t Care”: The Scene That Makes The Fugitive Work
I Appear to Be the Only Person Who Has Noticed That the Raccoons Are Replacing Us
Hold It Right There, Sean Murphy
Wedding Vows for the 21st Century
A Skeptic's Guide to the Supernatural
Great Comedy Advice for Beginners and Experts
HIllbilly Heroin in the Year of Health Insurance
Questions I Asked the Internet Instead of a Doctor
THE ROMAN SENATE’S OFFICIAL TALKING POINTS FOLLOWING THE ASSASSINATION OF JULIUS CAESAR
Things That Trump Promised in His State of the Union Address
A 19th Century Courtship Conducted Entirely by Telegraph
FROM THE ARCHIVES: Going Negative Early (2004)
Guest Post: Professor Charles Covington
2005 BUZZFEED PRESENTS: The "Are You a Meathead?" Quiz
Why Your Flight Home Was Delayed
THE B-SIDE: Last Thoughts on David Lynch
Addendums to the Serenity Prayer
The B-Side: Where Do We Invade Next?
The Amazing $5,000-a-Week Offer I Received